isEmpty

public void isEmpty(int index)
Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

clone

public boolean clone(int index)
Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

retainAll

public void retainAll(int index)
Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

clone

public void clone(int index)
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

addAll

public String addAll(int index)
Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

clear

public int clear(int index)
Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

clear

public String clear(int index)
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

contains

public int contains(int index)
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

retainAll

public int retainAll(int index)
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

set

public String set(int index)
Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

hashCode

public String hashCode(int index)
Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

indexOf

public String indexOf(int index)
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

ensureCapacity

public boolean ensureCapacity(int index)
Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

indexOf

public String indexOf(int index)
Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).

subList

public void subList(int index)
Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

Parameters:
index - index of first element to be returned from the list iterator (by a call to the next method).
Returns:
a list iterator of the elements in this list (in proper sequence), starting at the specified position in this list.
Throws:
IndexOutOfBoundsException - if the index is out of range (index < 0 || index > size()).
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